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Before I set sail from Circular Quay at the end of last week, my media diet on the topic of cruising comprised Titanic, Triangle of Sadness and David Foster Wallace’s viciously acerbic essay, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again. All in, a pretty damning collection of work. And while DFW made some accurate observations, my experience of cruising was three days straight of (albeit over-stimulating) fun.
My friend Rosie and I were invited along to experience the second annual Sydney Swans Members’ cruise – a collaboration between our favourite AFL team and our now-favourite cruise company (Princess Cruises, the oldest operating cruise company in the Australia/ New Zealand region). The three-night journey was set to take us down the coast of NSW to Eden – a small fishing town on the Sapphire Coast, approximately six hours’ drive from Sydney. With its pristine beaches and romantically ethereal name, Eden has been on my bucket list for a while, and the opportunity to visit for a day without having to get in a car sounded too good to be true. Unfortunately, it was – the weather system that was ripping through Victoria made the journey south impossible, so our captain made the call to change course and spend three days in the sunshine out at sea.
I was pretty heartbroken to be missing our day in Eden, but the three days we spent on board were the perfect deep dive into cruising, and I’m here to convince the sceptics why an ocean-based escape from reality might be just what you need.
First up, a little more context on the cruise in question. The three-night excursion to Eden is one of more than 70 different journeys offered by Princess, whose cruises from Sydney include a seven-day trip to Tasmania and a two-week adventure to some of the most beautiful islands in the South Pacific.
If you’re looking for an intro to cruising, the Sydney to Eden route would be perfect – with enough time to explore a little of what the ship has to offer (there are 25 cafes and restaurants on board, so you’d need a good week to genuinely see it all) and a whole day to spend in the magical seaside town.
Each cruise offers a stacked activity schedule, with yoga sessions and pickleball games and guided tai chi, but the Swans Members’ cruise levelled up – a well-paced three days featuring meet-and-greets, a Q&A with members of the team, Swans-related trivia and more.
As the ship prepared to push out of Sydney Harbour, I spoke with a fellow Swans fan whose only experience of cruising was on last year’s inaugural Swans Members’ cruise. "It's the best weekend of the year," she told me as we waited in line for our chicken burgers, the top-deck bar quickly filling with happy, excited fans.
At the welcoming night cocktail party, host Lochie Daddo addressed a room filled with red-and-white-adorned fans, nodding to all of the members he recognised from the year before. When he asked them to share their favourite memories from the previous cruise, the room erupted with shouts – karaoke and nights spent chatting with the players until 2 a.m. Clearly, for cruise-loving Swans fans, this is a newly established pillar of their calendar – the opportunity to spend three days holidaying with your heroes.
Along with the Swans-related events, we spent our time at sea lapping up everything the cruise has to offer: open-air hot tubs, an extensive 20-room spa, a huge fitness centre with far-reaching views of the ocean, some genuinely excellent restaurants (our top picks were Sabatini’s Trattoria, Crown Grill and the super immersive 360 Dining), and a 900-seater theatre hosting a packed-out entertainment program.
What struck me most about the experience was its efficiency – the 1,346-strong crew of gorgeously smiley people making the whole thing flow seamlessly, like a crazily well-wired epicurean utopia. Geo-enabled medallions allow you to order anything (coffee, sushi, cherry-adorned cocktails) to wherever you are on the ship, and act as your room key and payment method while you’re on board, so you don’t need to worry about the keys wallet phone drill when you leave your cabin.
Our package (the Princess Premier) included pretty-much unlimited food and drink, and to quote our fellow cruiser Lachy Mclean, it’s a real test of self-control, but “that’s one of the best things about cruising: the flexibility and the freedom to just create your own world for a few days.”
For Rosie and me, the cruise was an opportunity to spend hours in a hot tub chatting and clinking cocktails under the sunset, and drink coffee from bed with the balcony door open to the sound of the ocean. The Eden excursion would have been a bonus, but the three days we spent at sea were a genuine joy – a silly, indulgent and ridiculously easy bubble of play away from the world.
Cruising isn’t for everyone, and it’s probably not the most culturally enriching or environmentally friendly way to travel, but if you’re looking for a minimal-effort escape from reality, you really can’t do better.
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