1. You will begin your apartment-hunting venture with pluck and confidence.
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2. You will be glad you're going into this with a roomie.
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3. You will click on the same Craigslist ad—cunningly disguised with a couple backslashes and asterisks—50 times in one week, cursing yourself for clicking, and the realtor for being so sly.
4. You will unknowingly e-mail several at-home nudists.
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5. Even if you have perfect credit, you will panic about your credit score.
6. You will become increasingly willing to compromise on one-time dealbreakers like scary, unlit stairwells, and terrible water pressure.
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7. You will consider renovating.
8. If you can't afford your desired area, you will convince yourself (and try to convince your friends) that wherever you end up is an up-and-coming neighborhood, despite all evidence to the contrary.
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9. You will search online, comparing similar rents—and what you get for them—outside of NYC, because you hate yourself.
10. You will try to look at going back to a twin bed as something positive, you know, like getting back in touch with your childhood.
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